“You’ll remember me when the west wind moves among the fields of gold
You’ll forget the sun, in his jealous sky, as we walk the fields of gold”
So many things changed ever since I have come to love this song. Though so many men have come and left ever since then, yet this song has always been meant for just one special man.
We walked through the forest under the afternoon sun, me dancing around amidst the prairies, the butterflies flying around, kissing me…You came up and hold my hand. I was laughing along with the moving breeze. You could see the love in my eyes; you knew I belong to you. Heart and soul, for so many years.
You embraced me. Felt my body against you. Felt me as a part of you. Indispensable. You kissed me.
I am yours.
I had many lovers, and yet no one true as you. Myself, suffered a couple of heartbreaks, and broke a many hearts, and yet the last one I want to leave is you. I don’t want you to walk out of my life, cause I have never in my last so many years tried to imagine a life without you.I don’t know how it will be and I am scared. And yes, I have a boyfriend too.Who while I am here in US, is happily sleeping around with other women. Whom I have tried to fit in the real world, and tried to love. May be I ignore the deficiencies in that relation cause you make up for everything. You have given me everything, and I can never pay you back in that sense. I was the kid, the teenage girl with a scary family, no one to love, not a real friend to talk and understand me. The girl who didn’t understand the meaning of her existance, the meaning of life, and sometimes out of pain, lonliness tried to run away from it. You came in like a package. A lover, a friend, a teacher, a mentor...and someone to look up at. It is the strangest relationship one can ever have. I think.
But I guess no regrets. Or so I feel.
We held hands, and took the longer way to the forests. You know I am not scared. As long as you are next to me, I would never be scared.I just need you to tell me, “It will be fine, June”. As we step in, amidst the big oaks, and the evergreens, the blue sky seemed to dissapear. The colours of fall seemed to be in harmony with my feelings. Like the heterogeneity of contrasting emotions. The poision ivy looked so pretty curling around the tall pine trees. Purple pink and red…the colors so mesmerizing!
So many of the trees have started shedding their leaves. The sound of our footsetps broke the silence of the autumn forest. I want to hold on to this moment. Just us. We said nothing. And yet so much.
I look at you, and see that caring guy, the guy who has loved me like no other. A guy, smart like no other. No one can parallel you, in my world. I wish I could tell you how much I love you. How much you mean you mean to me. But may be the most romantic stories are all those that end with goodbyes. Like ours.
I love you. Sometimes I wish I could explain.
