It's 3 am of the morning. And I am cooking Bengali chicken curry. I have never done this before.I think, I am following the recipe, but...it doesn't look like what it. should. Or may be it will be, when it's done. Idk.
I finished a two hours conversation with Jane. And realized, that why you have girlfriends. Whom you can call at 1 am in the morning and complain and tell about your misery. And all you know after an hour, you have forgotten what you were complaining about, and by now you are probably joking about some hot guy, or talking about shopping or things about sex ;)
Spring is here, and the white blossoms. Green field. Winter is almost gone, save from my life, which is eternally looking forward to spring. I know what I want, so so bad, and like always..I am stuck with nothing working out.
I am trying to deal with my depression. It's an illness, and I can't seem to snap out of it. I have become a social outcast, because I refuse to talk to people or go out with them or pick up calls. My whole world has become about myself, my sucess and my life. Indian won the world cup. Great, but I didn't.
Jane is right. Even if I get what I want, I wont be happy, I would want to chase something else and be miserable because i don't have it. Anyway, good news is i started to work out.
The chicken is done. Reminds me of Akash...when he would cook for me. Shame I can't cook a fraction as good. Do I miss him? No, I am over it.Just that when I drunk and on hangover..I without any thinking ALWAYS call him. As if in the back of the mind, he is my rescuer. Later I resent dialing that number and wondering why I even remember it. I don't yearn for him, I just miss what I thought him to be.
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